Perhaps Christmas Means a Little Bit More

I’m trying hard not to be a Scrooge and it’s been incredibly difficult to get into any type of Christmas Spirit.

The past several months have been difficult, at best, for us. It seems every time we start to try to get ahead, something sets us back. Largely financially. Thus is the life with quadruplets.  Let me be real for a moment- quadruplets are incredibly expensive. Diapers, food, clothes, not to mention our other bills.  We went from 2 incomes to 1-ish.  Paul works largely off commission and right now is a slow season- so we’ve both picked up on odd jobs, including driving for Uber.  Quad Mom, Counselor, Uber Driver- I can do it all.  The thing is, we have to take turns because we can’t afford childcare and are already maxing out the help we have. It’s tough. And if I’m honest, it’s painful that I can’t give my kids a big Christmas.

I know- it’s not about the gifts. If anyone knows that, it’s me… Still, as a parent, you want to be able to give your children something.  Thank goodness they don’t know or understand yet…Thank goodness for family who are getting them gifts.  And I’m extra grateful for those special people who’ve given us hand me downs or used toys or other gifts.  Please know how grateful I am- our kids are having a Christmas this year largely because of the kindness and love of others.  That is incredibly humbling for this Momma- that there are people who love us enough to help while we try to make it through this season of life.

2 years ago, we were sleeping at the Ronald McDonald House. The house director came to use and told us there was a room full of toys and gifts and for us to pick out something for each other and for the babies- and it hit me: I hadn’t bought the first Christmas gift for the babies, for Paul, for my parents- pretty much anyone.  I think I picked out a couple books and a leap frog dog. The hospital let us pick out toys for the babies- and gave us a little Christmas tree for their hospital room. It was hard to get into the Christmas spirit because our time was spent in the hospital all day…and as hard as it was, it was the most precious Christmas. It was my first Christmas as a Mom. I had my gift- my 4 gifts. My 4 Christmas miracles.

So yes, it’s been tough to get into the groove this year…AND-  I know how incredibly blessed we are.  We will get to spend our Christmas together and with family. The love I have for these kids is more than any money in the bank…and they are more special to me than any thing I’ve ever received. That’s what Christmas is really about- love, miracles, and family.